Androgynous

Here's a bit of a message I sent to a MTF/androgonyous friend:

I really enjoyed your [discussion on andogyny], and I am thinking that's a possibility for me. I've been thinking about being trans lately [....] and whether a medical transition would be right for me. Lately I've been more considering just wearing male clothing whenever I want and wearing female clothes whenever necessary or when I want.

I also don't want a medical transition to affect any plans for my future. When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a missionary doctor, I was just fascinated with the thought of going to other countries and helping poor people and doing good in the world, and in the past few years I've been toying with the thought of doing either something like the Peace Corps, working for the Foreign Service, or international development work. If I don't make a career out of that, I'd at least want to volunteer at places during vacation at work. I wouldn't want to be on T, get a hysto, etc. and then find out that I can't do any of these things if I'd had to go to a place where I couldn't get hormones or if it would be extremely dangerous if people found out I was trans.  I've always been fascinated with different cultures, and I do believe in doing seva (which is a Sikh concept which basically means you try to help people during your life, and eventually your life becomes one selfless act), so actually going to places beyond the mere tourist locations has been a goal of mine for a really long time.

Since I think this life is just one small bit of the bigger picture,  I don't want to get so caught up in something as arbitrary as gender and spend enormous amounts of time, money, and energy medically transitioning when I could be doing something more meaningful and satisfying (either at home or abroad). I could of course still do both, but I feel like unless I suddenly get a disease or get in an accident, I have plenty of time ahead of me to figure out what I want to do. I really don't feel the need to rush into things and I am more than willingly to adopt some sort of alternative to the male and female categories.